BUMPER STICKER SERMON XXVII

Dr. Richard J. Henderson June 27, 2010

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Psalm 77
I John 4:7-21

Introduction

It's hard to believe that we've been doing the annual bumper sticker sermon here for 27 years. It struck me back then that a lot of what was going on in our culture was reflected on the back bumpers of cars - what people were angry about, what they cared deeply about, who they wanted to make fun of (which is most often themselves), what serious issues they can take a lighter look at.

In some ways the bumper sticker is a barometer of what is happening in our society. In other ways, of course, it is just saying silly things to amuse the drivers around them.

We have an interesting crop of bumper stickers this year, so let's get started.

I

Since the bumper sticker is on the back of the car, let's begin with bumper stickers about cars and driving. We've all seen that old bumper sticker that says, "If you can read this you are too darn close." This year we saw variations on that, like: "If you can read this I've lost my trailer!" Another read, "If this sticker is getting smaller, the light is probably green."

Another popular bumper sticker has been the honk bumper stickers: "Honk if you love Jesus," or there are a dozen other reasons bumper stickersgive you to honk. Here was a variation on that - "Honk if you see parts fall off."

Here's one that has to do with the destination: "Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?"

My favorite driving bumper sticker is one that you really would want to put on the front of your car with reversed letters so that the person in front of you could read it in the rear view mirror. They are weaving down the road, going off onto the shoulder and then swerving back into the other lane, not starting when the light changes, and then driving extremely slow. It's then that you wish you had the bumper sticker that says, "Hang up and drive!"

II

So many bumper stickers tell us about the drivers - what they're like, how they look, and the relationships they're in. One bumper sticker said, "I have the body of a god - Buddha!" Another said, "I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing." I spent a few years as a church custodian so I know what this person is saying: "Nobody notices what I do until I don't do it." And here's a bumper sticker from somebody who doesn't do anything: "I'm not completely useless - I can serve as an example."

Here are some bumper stickers that offer personal advice: "Before giving someone a piece of your mind, be sure you have enough to spare!" Another suggests, "Don't get even; get odd." (OK, maybe the bumper sticker is not the best place to get advice). Another suggests, "Two wrongs are only the beginning."

You might know someone who could use this bumper sticker: "My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right." That person could have this bumper sticker on the other side of his bumper: "My only flaw is that I'm perfect."

What a foolish thing to say. Then this bumper sticker comes by which combines a couple of sayings, "A fool and his money are a girl's best friend." Maybe his girl has this bumper sticker: "I didn't ask to be a princess, but if the crown fits..." Somehow that bumper sticker reminds me of this one: "Why be difficult when with a bit of effort you can be impossible!" What if you were feeling like a princess and you pulled up behind the car with this bumper sticker: "Whatever look you were going for, you missed."

So many people these days seem to be trying to find themselves. This bumper sticker offers a caution to those who are into self-discovery: "Someday you'll find yourself and wish you hadn't." Apparently, not everybody wants to accept their identity; witness this bumper sticker: "Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?" And speaking of moms, "Anyone who says 'Easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried it."

III

Some bumper stickers had to do with time. One bumper sticker points out that "Time is what keeps everything from happening at once." I wasn't sure you knew that. Another says, "Daylight Savings Time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?" Then there is this philosophical bumper sticker: "Does killing time damage eternity?"

We had a few bumper stickers related to science this year: "It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats," and "Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have." This one is interesting: "Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic."

A couple of bumper stickers had to do with money: "I don't find it hard to meet expenses - they're everywhere!" And there is always at least one bumper sticker about taxes - "Dear IRS, please cancel my subscription."

This year we had a bunch of bumper stickers that gave us definitions of words. You maybe thought you knew what these words meant, but, well, you'll see. "Junk: stuff we throw away. Stuff: junk we keep." "Pride is what we have; vanity is what others have." Surely you know who campers are. "Campers are nature's way of feeding mosquitoes." A question: "Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?" Wait, it gets worse: "Corduroy pillows: they're making headlines!" And it gets even worse: "Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate clauses."

I liked this one, hopefully it can redeem the rest: "Mistakes are proof that you are trying."

Are you an optimist or a pessimist? These might help. Well, no, they won't really help, but you might think they're funny. "Optimist: someone who doesn't have all the facts yet." "A pessimist is never disappointed." And here's a follow-up bumper sticker to that last one: "Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect to get it back!"

Bumper stickers often ask questions. This year we had three. "How do you get off a non-stop flight?" "What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and couldn't care less." "What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"

The original idea behind bumper stickers was to tell people what we thought, which often meant offering advice and sharing our wisdom, what that it is. Here are some advice/wisdom bumper stickers: "All good things in moderation - including moderation." "The more you say, the less people remember."

"If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0." And, related to that: "If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished!" And speaking of not succeeding and succeeding, "To err is human; to blame somebody else shows management potential!" Here is true wisdom. "Duct tape is like the force; it has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together."

In this time of so much division - red states and blue states, factions, and special interests - this bumper sticker brings us back to the motto of the USA: E Pluribus Unum - "from many, one." The bumper sticker says, "Too much Pluribus, not enough Unum."

A simpler one: "Hermits have no peer pressure."

Here are a couple of bumper stickers, but there's something wrong with them: "All generalizations are false." "Say no to negativity."

I personally like this one and think it's true: "Don't believe everything you think."

Here is a local bumper sticker that probably only people in our area would understand. I just saw it a couple of weeks ago. It doesn't fit with anything else, but when I saw it, I laughed out loud. It said, "I never thought I would miss Coleman Young."

IV

Bumper stickers have always dealt with issues in society. For some reason we saw bumper stickers about gun possession. You've seen the old bumper sticker that's been around for decades, "Guns don't kill people; people do." We saw a variation on that bumper sticker: "Guns don't kill people, but they just make it real easy." And then there's this one: "Why do we kill people who kill people to show that killing people is wrong."

Here's one that a church member gave me, "Who would Jesus bomb?"

Alright, it's time for peace. One bumper sticker said simply, "Peace in my lifetime."

Another bumper sticker that makes us think said, "Insatiable is not sustainable."

V

There were a number of specifically biblical bumper sticker this year, like: "Eve: At least he doesn't compare me to his mother." "Moses - from a basket case to the promised land." A sign at the edge of the Sinai desert: "Winding road next 40 years." And related to that, "The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't stop to ask for directions!"

There has been a lot of noise made recently about Christian values, with many people claiming as Christian values what not all Christians accept, and sometimes concerns that Jesus never talked about himself. So it was refreshing to see a bumper sticker that said, "Aid the poor. Heal the sick. Love your neighbor. Traditional Christian values." You can find all of those in the Bible and in the words of Jesus.

This one was actually on a shirt when I saw it, but it's also a bumper sticker: "God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I'm so far behind I will never die."

Here's one to think about for a while: "Every major question is a religious question. It has more effect in molding life than nationalism or a common language." It is a quote by the writer and historian, Hilaire Belloc.

And finally a couple of my favorites: "A Bible that is falling apart usually belongs to a person who isn't." And my favorite: "Honk if you love Jesus. Drive and text if you want to see him right now!"

Until next year.

Amen

© Richard J. Henderson 2010