FORGIVEN AND FORGIVING

Dr. Richard J. Henderson September 14, 2008

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Genesis 50:15-21
Matthew 18:21-35

Introduction

In Sterling, Scotland stands the Church of the Holy Rude (Holy Rude is a medieval word for the cross Christ died on). In the seventeenth century the church had a radical and prejudiced pastor named James Guthrie, who was rigid and refused to acknowledge his more moderate colleagues.

This resulted in a church fight which spread through the community. The arguments went on for years until the town finally decided to build a wall down the middle of the church. One congregation met on one side of the wall while the other met on the other side. They each had their own communion tables and pews and these two services took place each week in the same church building.

The wall was built in 1656 and it wasn't torn down until 1936. For 280 years they worshipped like that because they couldn't resolve their differences. They couldn't find reconciliation; they couldn't forgive and forget.

Remember, the church is named for the cross of Christ!

I

In our scripture this morning Peter asks the question we would all like an answer to, "How often should I forgive my brother?" When someone does wrong to me, how many times do I have to forgive him? Peter's suggestion is very generous - seven times. Rabbi's teaching from the Talmud would say three times; that's one more than giving a second chance.

But Jesus says not seven times, but seventy times seven. Then he tells them a story.

A king calls in a slave who owes 10,000 talents. That is an enormous amount of money. A talent equals fifteen years wages for a laborer. Figure that one out in your head - say $20,000 per year times 15 years equals $300,000. So a talent equals about $300,000. The slave owes 10,000 talents which come to $3 billion. (That number won't fit on your calculator!).

Obviously, the slave doesn't have that kind of cash available. So the king orders that he and his family should be sold, along with all of his property. But the man pleads, "Have patience, I will pay you everything." Can you hear the laughter from the king's court? A slave is going to pay back $3 billion! Amazingly the king has pity on him and forgives him the whole $3 billion debt.

The slave leaves and runs into a fellow servant who owes him 100 denarii. One denarius equals the usual wages of a laborer for one day. In today's dollars, a denarius would equal something like $75. So, 100 denarii would be about $7500. The first slave grabs his fellow slave by the throat and demands the money.

The second slave uses the same words as the first slave to ask for patience, and promises to pay him the whole amount. For this slave it is certainly possible for him to pay the money back.

But the slave who has been forgiven $3 billion says "no" and has his fellow slave thrown in jail until he can pay the whole amount.

II

The point of this story is pretty clear. We who owe everything to God - our life, breath, hope, meaning, not to mention the forgiveness of all our failures in life, have a mandate to forgive the small failures of the people around us.

We've been freed from the $3 Billion; surely we can forgive the $7500. God is so generous with us, how can we be stingy about those around us?

Remember the Lord's Prayer - "Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." Forgive us as we have forgiven others.

III

But, if we are honest about ourselves there's something about holding a grudge that feels good. Not forgiving is a way to hold something over another person. We get to put ourselves in the place of the victim; we are the one taken advantage of. We can get a proud feeling of self-righteousness and superiority. Sometimes it feels good to look down your nose at other people.

Except if you hold a grudge for very long, you know how it eats away at you. You can't let go of bitterness, and it begins to gnaw at you. You begin to change - and not for the better.

Maybe you realize that neither you nor the other person is happy. A grudge is a double-edged sword; it cuts both ways.

Forgiveness can set you free from all that. Forgiveness can take away the bitterness and obsession and give you back your life.

I talked about a woman last week who has a horrible relationship with her father. For years she has justifiably been extremely angry at him. She said last week, "I've forgiven him, and I'm free from all that." Her forgiveness brought about her own freedom.

IV

Forgiveness is one of the defining characteristics of a Christian. Christians forgive. In one way all this calculating about how much the first slave owed versus how much his fellow slave owed in the parable misses the point. Forgive $3 billion or $7500; forgive 7 times or 490 times; the point is that forgiveness is to be continual. Forgiveness isn't an occasional act of heroism; for Christians it is a way of life. To live is to forgive. As one commentator put it, forgiveness is "the constant homework of Christians."

But this doesn't mean we enable abusers to keep abusing by forgiving them. We forgive but demand change. To forgive doesn't mean to acquiesce.

We said last week that the church makes a footprint by what it does. Think of the footprint Amish Christians made when they were able to forgive the family of the man who broke into their school and killed their children. The whole world was talking about an incredible people's ability to forgive.

V

Who can't you forgive? Who hurt you so much that you can't let go of it? Are there things you can't forgive yourself for?

How do these offenses you can't forgive stack up next to what God has forgiven in your life? Old James Denny was a preacher who wanted to impress his congregation about God's great mercy. He imagined hauling a life-sized cross down the aisle of church and dragging it up to the pulpit and then standing there holding it up and shouting, "God did this for you!"

God's love and forgiveness can't be calculated.

Conclusion

The famous psychiatrist, Robert Coles went to Biloxi, Mississippi in the 1950s to offer therapy to children who were the first to integrate their schools. Ruby was the first black child to go to her elementary school, so she went to school each day with federal marshals escorting her through a mob of angry protesters who were shouting obscenities and spewing hatred.

Dr. Coles was concerned about how all that hatred would affect her. He knew she would probably have trouble eating and sleeping, or carrying on some other of her normal kid activities. Each day he talked about her about how she was doing. "Ruby, how are you sleeping?" he asked. She said, "I'm sleeping fine." "I'll bet you aren't eating very well, are you?" "I'm eating fine." Each day he asked her and each day she said the same thing.

One day he noticed that while Ruby walked through the angry crowds, she seemed to be talking to herself. Later Dr. Coles asked her what she was saying to herself as the angry crowds jeered and shouted at her. She said, "I say, 'Father forgive them, they don't know what they're doing. Father forgive them, they don't know what they're doing.'"

Amen

© Richard J. Henderson 2008