BUMPER STICKER SERMON XXVI

Dr. Richard J. Henderson June 28, 2009

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Isaiah 2:1-4
Matthew 11:28-30

Introduction

This is the 26^th annual bumper sticker sermon. When I began this in 1983, I was sure that I would run out of new bumper stickers in a couple of years. That hasn't happened. I have several people who send me bumper stickers when they see good ones, and I have to say that the great majority of them I have already seen and used.

But I am amazed that each year new bumper stickers are created. As times change, and as we are concerned about different issues, the bumper stickers follow. Remember when every family with kids had one of those yellow tags in the window that said "Baby on board"? Then it progressed to all kinds of other things on board, and you knew the end of these tags was coming when you saw one that said, "Mother-in-law in trunk." It went down hill from there (if that's possible). Now it is rare to see one of those signs anywhere.

Bumper stickers are like that, some are popular and then everybody has seen them and they fade away. Well, we have lots of new ones this year, so let's get started.

I

There are always bumper stickers that deal with marriage and differences between the sexes. One says, "Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye opener." I don't have any idea what that means! HER bumper sticker said, "We got married for better or worse. He couldn't do better; I couldn't do worse." And HIS bumper sticker responds, "If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking, and there's no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?"

Some couples argue over who has most of the covers and blankets, but just remember, "One good turn gets most of the blankets." Speaking of sleeping, I liked the bumper sticker that said, "There ought to be a better way to start the day than by getting up in the morning."

II

Some bumper stickers this year had to do with animals. Here are two about dogs, but each one has a very different approach. The first one: "My goal is to be the person my dog thinks I am." I think it's interesting that you can't substitute cat for dog in that statement. Your cat doesn't care who you think you are.

Another very different dog bumper sticker: "Sometimes you're the dog, and sometimes you're the hydrant!"

III

Some bumper stickers just don't make any sense - no matter how long you think about them. One of my favorites is, "I've gone to find myself. If I'm not back before I return, keep me here." (See what I mean?) This one makes some sense, I guess, and it's funny, "Do people is Australia call the rest of the world 'up over?'" Or there's "If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?"

Then there's "If the number two pencil is so popular why is it still number two?" There's more: "If a cow laughs hard, does milk come out of its nose?" "Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called 'rush hour?'" "Why is it that night falls, but day breaks?"

Here's some late breaking news, "The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75 percent of the world's population." Remember, you heard it here first.

IV

A whole group of bumper sticker had to do with aging this year. We'll begin with the optimists outlook on aging, "Birthdays are good for you - the more you have the longer you live." I liked, "I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today!" Or how about, "I'm not old, I'm chronologically gifted."

Memory goes with age, they say, so we have bumper sticker like, "Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it." Another person saw the good side of memory loss though: "I can't remember the last time I forgot something." A woman had a bumper sticker with this on it: "I was at the beauty shop for nearly two hours. That was only for the estimate!" A gentleman had this bumper sticker: "That snap, crackle, and pop in the morning isn't my Rice Crispies!" Did you know that they now make Campbell's senior soup? The alphabet soup comes with new large letters. But speaking of eating, sometimes you want to go out to eat. Even there, aging has consequences; "I'm so old wherever I eat out, they ask me for the money up front."

But we all know older people are more experienced. This bumper sticker reminded us that "Experience is a wonderful thing; it helps you recognize a mistake when you make it again." And another bumper sticker related to experience: "Experience is something you don't get until just after you needed it." A related bumper sticker: "Age is a high price to pay for maturity."

One bumper sticker said, "I was always taught to respect my elders. Now I don't have anyone to respect." The last aging bumper sticker is "Cremation: Think outside the box."

V

A fairly recent development has been the changeable signs that stand outside churches and communicate a message. Someone sent me a series of messages that were found on the signs of churches in England. They are a kind of immoveable bumper sticker, I suppose. Here are a few. "Adam blamed Eve; Eve blamed the snake, and the snake didn't have a leg to stand on." OK, they get better. "Can't sleep? Don't count sheep, talk to the Shepherd." Another said, "There are some questions that can't be answered by Google." And, "All services are different. We leave the reruns to TV."

Here's a reminder, "Speak well of your enemies; after all, you made them!" This one is interesting: "As you pass this little church, be sure to plan a visit, so when at last you're carried in, God won't ask, 'Who is it?'" Here's a related one: "Let us help you with your final exams," But also remember this: "Almost 2000 years old and still under the Maker's guarantee."

I liked this one especially, "You are the Soul agents in this area." And I really liked, "The meek shall inherit the earth, if it's alright with you." The last church sign said, "Happy Easter to our Christian friends, Happy Passover to our Jewish friends; To our atheist friends, Good Luck!"

VI

Fortunately many bumper stickers have religious themes. Believe it or not we can learn something about our faith from the back bumper. This first one fits with what the sermon was about a couple of weeks ago, it said, "Do your best and then sleep in peace. God is awake."

Or this one is very true: "God doesn't want shares of your life; God wants controlling interest." So often we want to just give God part of our lives, and hold back the rest.

A related bumper sticker is, "Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory capacity." Surprisingly, there are several bumper stickers about what it means to be called by God. One says, "God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called." Another: "The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not support you." You can write that one down and hang it where you'll see it every day. We don't need to be afraid, as this bumper sticker reminds us, "Fear knocked; faith answered; no one was there."

Another bumper sticker reminds us that "He who kneels before God can stand before anyone!" The Bible is full of examples of how true that is.

I liked, "We set the sail; God makes the wind." And this one about prayer says, "Prayer - don't give instructions, just report for duty."

This is a disturbing one, mostly because some people seem to think it's true. There are those who divide Christians between those who are Christians and those who are "real Christians." Of course, the person saying that is always in the latter category. This bumper sticker made me think of that, "Jesus loves you, but I'm his favorite."

A couple of lighter religious bumper stickers: "WalMart isn't the only saving place." And I had to laugh at this one, "Jesus is coming - LOOK BUSY!!"

My favorite religious bumper sticker is one we have seen before, but I think is worth repeating. "The task ahead of us is never as great as the power behind us." Wherever we go, whatever we face, we will never come across anything that is more powerful than the Spirit of God which stands behind us. Until next year.

Amen

© Richard J. Henderson 2009