FAMILY DINNER

Dr. Richard J. Henderson June 17, 2007

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Psalm 5 (responsive reading)
Luke 7:36-8:3

Family dinner was an important event in our house. Of course, we didn't realize it at the time, but some of the most important things in our lives were happening around that dinner table. We learned who we were, what it means to be a family, and what was expected of us. Through those dinners together we learned an enormous amount about life.

On Sundays my mother would put a roast in the oven before we went to church. It would cook while we went to Sunday school and church, and would be ready when we got home - unless our parents talked too long after church, and then the roast would not be medium rare, but well done.

We talked about things going on in the family, what had happened at church, and life in general. I remember one Sunday asking my dad if he realized what he had said in the announcements from the pulpit. He said, No, had he made a mistake? I said, "Not exactly, but you said that the series of discussions on Teens and Sexuality will come to a climax tonight with the final meeting!" He just about died; he couldn't believe he had said that. We all laughed.

I realize now that formation was what happened around that table. We were forming our personal identities, understanding our relationship to each other, and discovering what is acceptable behavior.

My younger brother and I always fought. For years there was a standing rule that Tom and I had to sit on opposite sides of the table.

We learned the importance of family - of caring for each other and standing beside each other. My brother and I may have fought tooth and nail, but if either of us had been attacked, the other would be the first to come to his defense.

Whether we were good or bad, whether we had aced a test or flunked it, we were always welcome at the table. When we got praise for doing something well we celebrated that around the table; when we were in trouble, we dealt with that at the dinner table. Sometimes the lessons involved tough love.

It wasn't just Sunday dinner. We ate dinner at the big mahogany table almost every night. On school nights we talked about what happened at school. It was a great opportunity for me to learn from my older brother and sister who had gone ahead of me in school. I was warned about Mr. Bigsby's class, advised on what was cool to wear to school and what to avoid. I think it was at the dinner table that someone subtly suggested that I could stop wearing white socks because they had gone out of fashion!

We met at the dinner table each night. Sometimes neighbor kids would ring the doorbell in the middle of dinner. My father always answered the door. "Can they come out to play?" He would always answer, "They will be out as soon as dinner is over." We never rushed dinner.

At dinner we talked about dating, our friends, classes and teachers (it was there that I learned that the teacher is never wrong. If I complained about how a teacher was picking on me, I never got anywhere. My parents always took the teacher's side. If my teacher was upset with me, my parents were upset with me.)

I realize now that we shared life experiences around that table. When I was a kid, I was often anxious to get dinner over so I could go out and play, now I cherish those times and can't imagine how we would be different if we hadn't experienced that.

We learned that we were valued no matter how well or poorly we performed. We understood each other better and we realized that we were understood. We grew.

We had funny times, solemn times, sad times, serious, quiet moments and times when we just couldn't stop laughing. It was a crucial part of growing up.

All of this is to say that those times around the dinner table are a parable for what it is like for us as Christians to gather around this table. This is a family gathering. We learn who we are, what it means to be a Christian family, and what we are supposed to do.

We are equally welcome here whether we have been wildly successful or miserable failures. We come here with our talents and gifts apparent, and with our warts and flaws showing too.

Formation is what happens here. We learn and grow and sense and feel, and we are closer to God for the experience.

Who would ever want to miss family dinner?

Amen

© Richard J. Henderson 2007