THE WAY TO A MEANINGFUL LIFE
Caring and Compassion

Dr. Richard J. Henderson March 4, 2007

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Psalm 27: 1-6
Matthew 5:4, 7

Introduction

Last fall the Kim family got stranded in the remote wilderness of Oregon. They were stuck in a snowstorm that closed the roads, and they couldn't get out. Rescue teams were sent to look for them, and eventually they found the car, Mrs. Kim and her two children, but the father, James, had gone on foot to try to get help.

After an exhausting search the sheriff spoke at a press conference to say that after a long and massive search, they had found James, but he was dead. In the middle of his comments the sheriff broke down and cried. He couldn't finish his statement. Another officer, more removed from the situation, had to finish his comments for him.

When all the clothes and furniture had been moved into the new dorm room, the parents finally have to say good-bye to their daughter before they drive home. With that final hug, the realization of the major change that is happening in their daughter's life - and in theirs - comes crashing in on them. The parents cry and continue to cry all the way home.

During a funeral service some people discreetly wipe their eyes with a Kleenex, while others sob audibly in remembering a dear friend who meant so much.

I

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Jesus isn't saying that if we are blessed we should be crying all the time. He isn't suggesting that our lives should be constant weeping. It isn't crying for its own sake that is valuable, but what it represents. Mourning isn't of value, but why we mourn is. When we cry, we care.

II

Jesus is blessing those who care. Blessed are those who get close to someone else. Blessed are those who get involved. If we didn't care about anybody we wouldn't cry.

There were people in Jesus' day - and there are people in our day - who think never mourning is a good idea. Epictetus, a philosopher who lived just a few decades after Jesus said, "Love your wife and your children, but not so much that you will be hurt when they die." That seems to me a lot like not loving them. "I love you son, but not enough to be hurt if you died." Don't get close enough to your spouse and kids to cry if you lost them. Clearly, this is the opposite of what Jesus is saying with "blessed are those who mourn."

Buddhism says, "Those who love one hundred have a hundred woes. Those who love ten have ten woes; those who love one have one woe. Those who love none, have no woe." (1) This Stoic approach to relationships says that if you care about people you will get hurt, so don't get involved. Protect yourself.

On the other hand, Jesus says blessed are those who mourn because they give themselves in caring for others. To love is not only to risk hurt; it is to be hurt. I John 3: 14 says, "Whoever does not love remains in death." Jesus blesses those who mourn because they risk themselves in caring about others. Blessed are those who get outside themselves and reach out to care for other people.

III

The opposite of mourning is not happiness, but apathy. If we protect ourselves from being hurt, it means we stop caring about people. You know what devastation it is to lose someone you love. But the alternative is not to love people.

The Nobel laureate, Elie Wiesel, has said, "The opposite of life is not death, but indifference." Our grief is really an affirmation of life. It is a demonstration of how much we care. The greater we love, the deeper our mourning. The person who has never mourned is the person who has never been close to other people. Erik Kolbell has written, "Love is painful because it risks loss; indifference is tragic because it risks nothing." We only cry if we care. Blessed are those who mourn.

The gospels tell us of two important times when Jesus cried: at the death of his great friend Lazarus and for the city of Jerusalem. One was for a personal friend who had lost his life, the other for a city of people who had lost their soul.

IV

"Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted." Comfort comes from the same root word as "fortify." We are strengthened, encouraged, built up when we are mourning. When we are hurting, we receive the support of other people. Jesus is saying: those who care will receive care. As we have given ourselves for others, in our time of need we will receive. Those who have loved will receive love.

V

When Jesus says, "Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy," it is an extension of what he has said about mourning. They are both about caring; mercy is a specific kind of caring. Just as those who have cared for others will be cared for, so those who have shown mercy in their lives will receive mercy.

This statement reminds me of the Lords Prayer where we pray, "Forgive us our debts, as we have forgiven our debtors." Forgive us as we have forgiven; show mercy to us as we have shown mercy.

Mercy is not cold and calculating, it is generous, warm, compassionate, and forgiving.

I worry especially about those religious people who are so harsh, narrow, and intolerant. Having shown little mercy, can they expect much mercy for their own failures? It seems that what goes around comes around.

Conclusion

When I think of Jesus words, "Blessed are the merciful, they will receive mercy," I think of one specific event. Pope John Paul II, dressed in his layers of embroidered garments, with crosses and religious symbols, sits in a jail cell with a young man dressed in a prison uniform. It is a stark, barren room. They sit close to each other.

The Pope is meeting with the man who tried to kill him. John Paul could have demanded the death penalty, could have asked for the harshest treatment of this man, but instead he went to his prison cell and talked with him. That action made a profound statement to the entire world about what Jesus has taught us.

Jesus' words blessing those who mourn and those who are merciful have to do with caring about other people. Neither one is easy, but both of them enrich our quality of life - and faith.

Amen

© Richard J. Henderson 2007